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How Do You Know When to Move from Messaging to a Video Call?

In online dating, moving from messaging to a video call is an important step that can help build a deeper connection and ensure the person you’re talking to is who they say they are. However, knowing when to take this step can feel tricky. Transitioning too early might create pressure, while waiting too long can lead to misunderstandings or missed opportunities. In this article, we’ll explore the top questions about when to move from messaging to a video call, offering insights and tips to help you navigate this decision.

How Long Should You Message Before Suggesting a Video Call?

The timeline for suggesting a video call varies depending on the connection you’ve built through messaging. Here’s how to gauge when the time is right:

  • Assess the Flow of Conversation: If the conversation is flowing smoothly and you feel comfortable, it may be time to suggest a video call. If both of you are engaging equally and showing genuine interest, that’s a good sign.
  • Look for Engagement Cues: Consistent replies, thoughtful responses, and shared humor indicate that both parties are interested. When the messaging feels easy and natural, it’s a good moment to suggest a call.
  • Consider the Depth of the Connection: If you’ve already shared personal details or have had meaningful conversations, a video call can help take the connection to the next level.

On average, after a few days to a week of consistent messaging, you can start exploring the idea of a video call. Trust your instincts, and make sure both parties feel ready for this next step.

How Do You Bring Up the Idea of a Video Call?

Bringing up the idea of a video call should feel casual and comfortable. Here’s how to do it smoothly:

  • Suggest It Playfully: Keep it light by saying something like, “This conversation is so much fun—it would be great to continue it over a video call sometime!”
  • Use a Natural Transition: If you’re talking about a topic that would be easier to discuss in person, you can say, “This would be a lot easier to explain over a quick video chat. What do you think?”
  • Ask for Their Opinion: Instead of directly suggesting a call, ask if they’re comfortable with video calls. “Are you someone who likes video chats, or do you prefer messaging?”

By keeping the tone playful and open, you reduce the pressure and make it easier for the other person to agree or share their thoughts.

What Are the Benefits of Moving to a Video Call?

Transitioning from messaging to a video call has several advantages, especially in online dating. Here are the key benefits:

  • Builds Trust: A video call helps verify that the person you’re talking to matches their profile, which builds trust and reduces the risk of catfishing.
  • Improves Communication: Seeing each other face-to-face allows for better communication through body language, facial expressions, and tone of voice.
  • Deepens the Connection: A video call can take the conversation beyond text, creating a more personal and intimate connection.
  • Evaluates Compatibility: You can get a clearer sense of whether there’s chemistry between you two, helping to determine if you want to pursue the relationship further.
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Moving to a video call is a powerful way to strengthen the relationship and assess whether you’re truly compatible.

What If You Feel Nervous About Suggesting a Video Call?

It’s normal to feel nervous about suggesting a video call, especially if you’re unsure how the other person will respond. Here’s how to ease your nerves:

  • Take the Pressure Off: Remind yourself that it’s just a casual call, not a major commitment. The goal is to have fun and get to know each other better, so keep the stakes low.
  • Use Humor: Lighten the mood by making a joke about the video call, like “No pressure, but I promise I’m not wearing pajamas if we video chat!”
  • Test the Waters: If you’re unsure, ask if they’ve done video calls before or if they enjoy them. This can help gauge their comfort level before making a suggestion.

Remember, it’s just another step in getting to know someone better. If they’re interested in you, they’ll likely be open to the idea.

How Can You Prepare for Your First Video Call?

Once you’ve agreed to a video call, preparation is key to ensuring it goes smoothly. Here’s how to get ready:

  • Find a Comfortable Space: Choose a quiet, well-lit spot where you can talk without distractions. Make sure your background is tidy and reflects your personality.
  • Test Your Technology: Check that your internet connection is stable and your video and audio are working properly. It’s better to address any technical issues beforehand.
  • Dress Casually but Confidently: Wear something that makes you feel comfortable and confident, just as you would for a first in-person date. There’s no need to overdress, but looking presentable helps boost your confidence.

By taking a few minutes to prepare, you’ll feel more relaxed and ready to enjoy the call.

What Are Some Good Conversation Starters for a Video Call?

Starting a video call can feel a bit awkward at first, but having a few conversation starters can ease the tension. Here are some ideas:

  • Reference Previous Conversations: Bring up something you’ve already talked about in your messages. For example, “You mentioned you love hiking—have you been on any new trails lately?”
  • Ask Open-Ended Questions: Open-ended questions encourage longer, more thoughtful responses. “What’s something exciting you’ve been working on recently?” can lead to engaging conversations.
  • Use Humor or Light Topics: Starting with something lighthearted can help ease nerves. “If you could have any superpower for a day, what would it be?”
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These conversation starters keep the discussion flowing and help both of you feel more comfortable during the video call.

What If the Video Call Isn’t Going Well?

Not every video call will go perfectly, and that’s okay. Here’s how to handle it if the call feels awkward or doesn’t flow as expected:

  • Acknowledge the Awkwardness: It’s okay to break the tension by saying something like, “I guess video calls can be a bit awkward at first!” This can make both of you laugh and relax.
  • Shift the Conversation: If the conversation feels stale, try switching topics. Ask about something new or bring up an interesting fact you recently learned.
  • End the Call Gracefully: If it’s clear that the chemistry isn’t there, politely end the call. You can say something like, “This was fun! Let’s chat again soon,” or “Thanks for the chat—good luck with everything!”

Even if a video call doesn’t go perfectly, it’s a learning experience that helps you improve for future conversations.

What If the Other Person Isn’t Ready for a Video Call?

Sometimes, the other person might not feel ready for a video call, and that’s okay. Here’s how to handle this situation:

  • Respect Their Boundaries: If they say they’re not comfortable with a video call yet, respect their decision without pressuring them.
  • Keep Messaging: Continue building the connection through messaging. With time, they may feel more comfortable and open to a call.
  • Offer Alternatives: If they’re hesitant about a video call, suggest a voice call instead. This can be a less intimidating way to hear each other’s voices without the pressure of being on camera.

Patience and understanding will help maintain the relationship while allowing the other person to move at their own pace.

How Do You Know If a Video Call Went Well?

After the call, it’s natural to wonder if it went well. Here are a few signs that the call was a success:

  • Engagement and Laughter: If both of you were actively engaged and shared laughter during the call, it’s a sign that the chemistry is strong.
  • Interest in Future Plans: If the other person expresses interest in continuing the conversation or setting up another call or date, it’s a clear indication they enjoyed the call.
  • Comfortable Silences: Not every moment needs to be filled with conversation. If there were comfortable silences rather than awkward ones, it’s a positive sign.

If the video call felt natural and ended on a positive note, it’s likely that things are moving in a good direction.


Moving from messaging to a video call is an exciting step in online dating, and knowing when and how to make that transition can lead to deeper connections. By focusing on the flow of conversation, suggesting a call in a casual way, and preparing for the call with confidence, you can create a comfortable and enjoyable experience. Whether the call goes perfectly or has a few awkward moments, it’s a valuable opportunity to get to know someone better. Keep an open mind, stay positive, and enjoy the journey of building meaningful relationships through online dating.

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